Back to School Anxiety
(photo by k.raczekk (c)May 29, 2007 on flickr)
Here in Canada, children are heading back to school this coming Tuesday. As a retired teacher, I know all about back-to-school anxiety. Many people think this only affects children but let me tell you, almost all teachers and parents feel it too. Many parents of kindergarten children will cry on the first day out of worry. Teachers often end up comforting the parents more than the kids. Myself, I have clinical performance anxiety, so it was always at its worst in September. I take medication for it, but for myself, going in early and being well prepared was always key.
Parents can take their children down to the school building and walk in and say hello at the office the week ahead. They can ask permission to walk the halls and show their kids the building while it’s empty. They can drink from the fountain, go into the washrooms, and visit the gym as well. If their child has special needs, they can even ask the principal if their new teacher is available to meet them.
For me, it helps to know what the day looks like and when I will be able to take a break. Ask for the school schedule and remind your child that there will be breaks for eating, drinking, using the washroom, and getting outside to breathe some fresh air. If they are worried about making friends, it helps to pack two small cheap toys (which losing would not cause a complete meltdown). These objects make it so much easier for them to initiate play and give them the courage to invite someone. Small stuffed animals are perfect for this.
If your child is very clingy, it’s better to drop them off and leave promptly. This may seem counter-intuitive, but it will allow them to become independent more quickly. They will learn to trust the teacher and other caring children to comfort them. If you are standing at the door, they will keep running back to you and cry longer.
The most important thing is to listen to your child and watch for signals that thy are anxious. They may complain of tummy aches or have trouble sleeping. They may get very quiet or start acting out more. Remind them that everyone feels anxious, including the teachers and this is normal. Tell them that you feel anxious too, but you will get through the first week together and then everything will be familiar and comfortable.
Have you noticed family anxiety at the start of the school year? Please share a comment below.
