Spinning My Creative Wheels

(Photo by Uillian Vargas on Unslplash)

As I hit a milestone birthday this past month, I have been overwhelmed with creativity and a desire to tap into new activities. Fall is naturally a time of increased productivity for everyone, with the temperature cooling and kids going back to school. I am lucky enough to have retired already, so I have plenty of free time to pursue my hobbies. (Apologies to all of you out there who are still slogging it out in the trenches. I was a full-time teacher for thirty years, so I did my time.) Yet somehow, I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I don’t know if I should focus on one interest to achieve a goal or explore all my interests equally.

I love writing, playing music, and I’m learning to paint as well. It seems like a sign that my daughter just sent me a set of acrylic paints and brushes for my birthday. I tried some watercolor lessons a few years ago, but I’m kind of wary of starting something new. My guitars and flute have been sitting in the closet for many years, which makes me sad. I’ve always had a deep-rooted desire to share music with my friends at social gatherings, but my crippling stage-fright keeps holding me back.

And then of course, there is my love of writing. I published four books in the past five years and have managed to keep this blog going. I appreciate and enjoy reading your feedback every week. I know how much time and energy it would take to write another book. I already have one sketched out, ready to tackle, but do I really want to forego my other interests to focus in on this one big project?

I guess my real question is, how do we avoid spreading ourselves too thin? I’m usually driven by a desire to see a final product, such as a repertoire of songs or a fifth book. But what about painting? I can't even imagine what a personal goal might be. I don’t really want a whole bunch of beginner level canvases filling up my garage, but that’s part of the process. I know that the joy is meant to come through experimenting and learning and this should be enough. Yet somehow, for me, it isn’t. Perhaps my ultimate goal should be to give up on setting goals?

I can’t help feeling like my time on this earth is a precious commodity now and I need to choose carefully how I spend it. This leaves me frozen, doing nothing but contemplating the best path to take. Can you help me? How do you decide what to devote your limited time and energy to? Please subscribe/comment below.